Mumsie Dearest

So, here I've thought all these years that I've been able to hide most of my issues/problems from my mother - with very few exceptions. Obviously she had to know about my divorce, and there were a few other scattered things that I've admitted to her over the years.

But when she came to visit me after my back surgery last August, she brought me a "Life Recovery" edition/version of the Bible. Life Recovery. How did she know? Who told her? One of my kids? Doubtful. My husband? Hardly. My sister. Possibly, but I doubt that too - she has her own issues which unfortunately my mother would quickly bring up and point out. Surely my sister would know to keep her mouth shut lest the subject would suddenly change over to her.

Methinks it's because she not only knows me because I'm her first born, but in many ways I'm like my father. Who or what evil force exactly gives mothers this odd intuition? And, it should be removed immediately. Aren't we entitled to our own private addiction-filled lives?

So how did she know? Because she's my mother. Now that I'm a mother, I know when my kids are depressed, when they're moody, when they're lying, when they've been drinking, etc. Perhaps not 100% of the time (and that's a good thing!) but basically I know.

So now she's moving out here. What secrets will I have left? Will this lead me to my old teenage ways of sneaking and lying? I hope not. It's taken me 30 years to get away from that mode of secret-keeping. I live my life and that's all there is to it; like it or leave it. That's not to say I don't try to be respectful of other's feelings, and I'm not hedonistic - but I am an adult. Hopefully this move won't make me feel like I'm 13 again. Not that I ever really felt that way at 13; in fact I remember I was always the more "dominant" one in our relationship even tho she was the mother. I always got my way with her. She would defer to me - and I'm praying to God that continues!!

Slightly-Anxious-Fatima