The F-Word

The other day my sister and I were talking about blogs. Apparently she had one awhile back but has since closed it down.

I said, "Really? Oh. You didn't tell me about it."
Her: "Well, yeah, I didn't want you poking fun at me."

Now, I have no idea what her blog was about, or if it even had a theme, but she was right. I'm sure I would have teased her about something, somewhere along the way. That's my right as the older sister. Here's the difference between me and her: I don't give a shit. Make fun of me all you want; tear down my opinions, challenge my social or political views, call me names, make fun of my clothes, my latest attempts at a hairstyle, I could totally care less. Seriously. I simply don't give a shit.

Someone can walk in my office and ask for me, and I really don't give a rat's ass I hear someone say, "Oh, she's the blond bitch in the cubicle around the corner." Or, "Yeah, she's here, but watch out, she's in one pissy mood today." Don't care if someone utters the word "bitch" when they think it's out of my hearing range - and it never is. Don't lose sleep if someone thinks I'm cheap, lazy, careless, loud, thoughtless, you name it - my first thought is 'whatever.' And that's terrible, but that's pretty much the way it is.

But don't let that "F" word come out. You know the word - not the one you can't say on TV, but the "F-A-T" word. Because as they say in the South, "thems fightin' words." It's kinda like when people have a black friend and then that black friend pisses them off and they get into an argument. The poor black guy is now bombarded with "Stupid nigger" instead of just "Stupid."

I confess: one time, a random young Asian girl cut me off and almost caused me to wreck with my toddler in the car. If she was white, she just would have been a "stupid fucker" and would have gotten the finger. However, what I yelled (to really no one in particular because my windows were rolled up) was 'you Stupid fucking gook idiot." (I also have anger issues, but that's just going to have to be for another post and/or another blog altogether!) Ha. Now, I don't think of her like that. Hell, I don't even know her. ButI'm sure if I did, she's a lovely person regardless of her race. But you see, it's when "People-Who-Can-Be-Labeled" piss us off, it's a whole other ballgame.

Once we can label someone - old, young, Asian, Black, Fat, Mexican, Middle-Eastern, Male, Female, Goths, Punks, Skaters, Deaf, Blind, - we can now add various lovely little adjectives when we speak derogatorily about them - or to them in some cases.

So, while I don't care if someone calls me a bitch, I'm now in the "fat bitch" category. Be Damned! I'm not a big fan of the dreaded female "C" word either - but at least I'd rather be called just that than a "Fat C---" I was watching Flav-O-Flav (a guilty pleasure I confess) and one girl told another girl "Get yo skinny ass up outta my face." Now see. I just don't consider that to be a cut down or degrading. I'd sell one of my beloved kids to have someone say that to me! And, I'd probably give them their props and get the hell outta their face - and walk away with a smile because they called me skinny!

You see, the "F" word to me is like the "N' word to my African American brothers and sisters. On my drive home last night, I was pondering why that is. And I believe it's because I've called people that before (not to their face okay????!?!?!?) but in my mind or to a friend, "Oh, she's just a crazy, fat bitch." Or, "If that fat bitch doesn't quit honking her horn, I'm gonna kick her ass." Or, "I wish that fat cow would move her moon head so I could see the movie screen."

And now the karma has come back to haunt me!

Be good to others!

Fatima