Dear God!

A Walrus Penis. It's not Tommy Lee, but still..........

Why Are People Stupid?

That's all. Just why?

Were they dropped on their heads as infants?

Did they do too many drugs in the 70's?

Is something mis-wired in their brain?

Too much loud rock-n-roll?

Were they sick on the "common sense" day in 7th grade?

And here's the really strange thing - THEY THINK THEY'RE NORMAL!!!!

Give me a heroin addict, alcoholic, bulimic any day. I can handle that. I can't handle stupid anymore. Someone asks me a stupid question or says something stupid, I just shake my head and walk away. Not very nice, I admit, but much better than the obscenities that would spew from my mouth should I say something in return.

Today I read that some idiot senator got caught trying to engage in sex in a men's public restroom. Um, YOU'RE A SENATOR!!!! People might actually know who you are. You just might be embarrassed if you're caught. If might even piss off your wife. Good grief.

Oy!

Fed-up Fatima

Testing

Just testing my blog; it was acting funky yesterday......

Out here...

For My Sister - The Baby-Corn Hater

http://www.nataliedee.com/

Chocolate Hell

So, last week I had this crazy idea it would be fun times to chaperone my 4 year old's preschool class to Hershey Amusement Park. Turns out a better day would have been had if I had decided to have major surgery with no anesthesia; perhaps have my spleen or one of my feet removed.

We got there and it was about 93 degrees, but with the humidity I think the weatherman said "it feels like 4000 degrees." He was right.

Now, for those of you who know me, you know I love kids. My own. And only my own. Passionately and fiercely. I love my nieces and nephews (Will, Alison, Ben & Caroline!), and if my sister ever gets off her drunk ass and decides to have any - I'll love them as well. And I love Cow's kids (Cali and Jacob). But that's it. Absolutely it; no more. I don't do playgroups, I don't babysit. I can barely stand my own children half the time, let alone yours. I don't remember when my own took their first steps or cut their first tooth, so for God's sake, quit telling me about when yours did.

So here I am in the blistering heat with 10,000 screaming 4 year olds who cannot wait in lines, can't decide which ride to ride, want to ride the same ride over and over again, and as if all that weren't bad enough - did I mention we were at HERSHEY PARK!?!? They were all on a serious chocolate high, which for those of you who aren't parents, is like crack cocaine to a toddler.

Hershey Park just opened a water park area in the last year or two. Oh, goodie. Now I have to make sure none of these sugared up brats drown. Oy. Just as we were all getting acclimated to the water and I'd saved about 7 kids from near 911-calls, it pours rain like in Noah's day and we all have to leave the park. The kids are screaming and unhappy because we have to leave. Inwardly I'm thrilled. I grew up in Southern California and have done my time at amusement parks.

We all pile back on the huge yellow school bus (!) and drive 2 hours home. Wet. In an air-conditioned bus. With chocolate smeared crack addict 4 year olds. Walked right in my front door, took a Xanax, a hot bath and went to bed early. Next time I have to chaperone a trip, I will pray fervently to God the night before that I'm struck with the "Explosive Diarrhea Plague."

Fatima

A drunk midget...Are you SURE?

I just read yesterday that the father from "Little People, Big World" was arrested on his 2nd DUI. Have you ever seen him walk with his walking canes? Are they sure he was drunk or just trying to walk in a straight line with his limp? At least that's the defense I'd use.

I wonder if he had to stand on a stool to get his mug shot taken. My sister and I are infatuated with midgets. I'm curious about them and she's scared to death of them.

Perverted Fatima wants to know if all their bodily parts are in proportion to their bodies............but then that's how my mind works.

Oh, well, poor Matt.

Outta here, Fatima

Time Off

I needed a much needed break from the busy-ness that is my life. Between my grumpy husband, my anxiety stricken mother and her lack of cooking skills, my 19 year old moody daughter with a smart mouth, my 4 year old toddler and two graduate classes, I had to no time to blog. More to follow later when I have something interesting to share.

Busy, busy Fatima