Some People are Just Never Happy

....like me. You may, or may not, remember past posts when I expressed that I was bored with life. So, what do I do? I make my life so freaking busy that the drug companies who make anti-anxiety meds can't keep up with my need for them. And I don't always do so good with controlled substances. My tendency is to believe that if 1 is good, then 4 will be better. I've really been a lot better about that though.

Balance. How and when am I ever going to learn? Too little and I'm bored and listless, feeling as though I'm contributing nothing to life; learning nothing; feeling blah and lazy and depressed. Too much, and I feel that overwhelming need to be perfect, get everything done, be super-mom, super work person, etc.

Can't be done. Now, I long for lazy nights, in my Hello Kitty jammy pants, in front of the TV, cuddling my toddler instead of being in these stupid classes I'm in. Too much reading, too much writing, just too, too much. I think I've discovered or uncovered a nasty truth about myself: I want to be lazy, but I don't want to feel lazy or have others think I'm lazy. But truly, I want to do nothing. My heart now belongs to a 4 year old, not to academia.

Fatima-loves-Beana