Didn't I just say last month that I will NEVER, under ANY circumstance, EVER chaperone another pre-school field trip? So, what did I do? I said yes. And for those of you who know me, you know I'm no stranger to the word, NO! No, I don't want to eat at that restaurant. No, I don't want to have sex right now. No, you cannot stay out past midnight. No, you cannot have more money for clothes. No, I don't want to help you move and then paint your fucking house.
But see - when it comes to Riley - well, all bets are off. She looks at me with those big brown baby eyes, and I actually become loving and nice.
At least when we went to the amusement park, the kids could yell and scream to their hearts' content. Guess where we're all going on December 6th? Just take a wild guess. The freaking Joseph Meyerhoff Symphony Hall to see The Nutcracker. What the hell kind of toddler food do they serve there? Goldfish crackers with caviar? Cucumber and peanut butter finger sandwiches? And I'm sure they're going to expect these little rug rats to be quiet. Right.....
Well, I guess you all know what I'll be writing about on December 7th, the day after. That is, if I'm not in jail. My kid will probably jump up on stage and try to dance along with them like they're The Wiggles or something. Maybe the dancers will get some horrible strain of strep throat and they'll have to cancel the show. One can only hope......
Stupid, stupid, stupid Fatima
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