Dysfunction Junction

Someone once said that friends are God's way of saying sorry for the family you got. Yes, there was and is dysfunction both in my original family, as well as the one I've now raised for 20 years. I don't think it's escapable, not on this earth anyway. We're all broken to some degree, so naturally, our relationships are going to show that. And, we're all looking to be fixed in some way or another. Is that where the term "fix" came from with addicts I wonder....

I've learned two things: 1) that we all "fix" ourselves in different ways, most of which are ironically detrimental to our overall health and 2) that at my age, I can no longer blame my family for how I turned out. It's okay to think or act that way 22 - but at 43, it's simply redundant and pathetic. When people start blaming their parents or spouse (or whomever) for the outcome of their lives, I quickly tune out. Been there, done that. And it doesn't even solve the problem - whatever it is. And to be truthful, I didn't turn out so damn bad. Just a few quirks and kinks here and there. I suppose the usual adjustments could be made - but overall I'm peachy most of the time.

So, what dysfunction was in my family of origin? It would be quicker to talk about what wasn't. But the usual suspects were there: alcohol, eating/weight issues, drugs, emotional barriers, criticism, blah blah. But when I think of my upbringing compared to others' stories I've heard or read about over the years, mine was a walk in the park.

I don't like what's left. It only leaves me to blame. Dammit. That's what I was afraid of.....

Out here.

Fatima Pissed Off